- October 6, 2024
- Posted by: Dave Kurlan
- Category: Understanding the Sales Force
I last wrote about the efficacy of cold emails/LinkedIn Messages in February, when it was clear that immature AI and ineffective cold messaging weren’t effective. The phone was and still is a better option. Read here.
Although I continue to receive pathetic emails and messages, I recently got one that was significantly better. Allow me to share some examples of typical emails/messages so that you can avoid these mistakes and then I’ll show one that suggests there is finally hope for improvement. All that said, I still recommend using the phone instead of cold emails/messages.
Example 1 – Cold Email:
Imagine what we could create together with expert Web Development, SEO, or custom animations—just to name a few. I offer:
✤ Web Development
✤ SEO
✤ B2B/B2C Lead Generation
✤ 2D/3D Animation & Video Editing
✤ Graphic Design
A quick meeting could be the spark for something game-changing. When can we chat?
Hi Dave, Can I trouble you to like my YouTube channel. I’m told we need 100 subscribers before we can get special analytic privileges. If you have a YouTube account can you subscribe. Here is a link to the channel https://www.youtube.com/@bestpracticeinhr5059
If you have a page or anything you want me to like or subscribe to, just reply with details and I will return the favour.
If you are interested in being interviewed happy to arrange that as well.
Much appreciated!
Hi Dave,
My name is [withheld by me], I am with a pay-per-performance marketing company.
I came across Author & am pretty confident we can bring more business your way.
Over the past 4 years, we have generated more than 30,000 leads for coaches, consultants & service based businesses busy serving their clients, who are looking to book appointments, not clicks.
If that’s you, we know we can help your company grow.
The best part… If we don’t deliver – you don’t pay!
We would love the opportunity to learn more about your business to see if there’s a fit.
What is your schedule like to connect over the next week or so?
Looking forward to it!
Thoughts on your personal brand
Thanks for the connect Dave.
To give some context, I work with experts and thought leaders to land 5-figure paid speaking gigs, launch NYT’s bestsellers, secure VC investment, and attract top level talent for their various projects by building authoritative personal brands that make them stand out from the crowd and become a magnet for opportunities.
It looks like you are pretty great at what you do and I see some solid potential.
Curious how you are currently managing your personal brand – Would love to share some ideas if you’re open to it.
So glad to know I have potential! That message would have resonated around 35 years ago!
Example 6 – Screenshot from a Cold Email
The top of the screen shot is their cold email and the dark mode at the bottom is a sample of the AI emails they create:
George,
Noticed you’re on the hunt for 3 SDRs. Ever thought about what you could accomplish with 30?
At Playmaker we’ve created AI sales reps that outperform most human SDRs, but they’re 1/10th the cost – meaning you could hire 30 of them for the same budget.
This could help Bamboo HR’s pipeline grow like Bamboo.
If you’re interested, grab a time here and we can show you.
(P.S. I’m one of those AI SDRs – how’s that for a demo?
I have a few observations about this:
- The email created by playmakerml.com’s AI SDR, is better written than what most marketing folks are writing for their cold outreach and workflows
- Their AI rep went on line, researched and identified companies that had job postings for SDRs (because that’s who their client wanted to target)
- They quickly and easily explained what they do and their value proposition
- They had a reasonable call-to-action
- The prior 5 examples are typical of all the hundreds of cold emails/in mails I get – they’re all consistently awful
- This example provides hope that we might finally be getting something significantly better
I had some interest in this and scheduled a demo for next week. If their program looks like it will be effective, I’ll buy it, use it, write about it and if appropriate, recommend it, as I have with other tools that make good sense for sales teams. And remember, I still recommend using the phone for cold reach outs. Stay tuned!
Image copyright 123RF